


Misfit au

by mikeellee



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Jokes, F/M, Possessive Behavior, The Cake Is A Lie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-04-23 04:32:12
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 11,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19143628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mikeellee/pseuds/mikeellee
Summary: In another world, Kitty Pryde is a mere actress in a TV show, but, at night, she´s also Columbina and she follows no rules.





	1. Chapter 1

N/A: I´d say redemption for characters is good if is earned, not every evil character should or can be the good guy, but, if DC can make Harley the good guy…why not the others?

[@djinmer4](https://tmblr.co/mxHYMDeZZDFikE3hSuF95pw) [@sailorstar9](https://tmblr.co/mcaoIthPNblJijna-z71kBQ) [@dannybagpipesarecalling](https://tmblr.co/mFnNRC1RNxNrSMp3XFz5yKg) [@discordsworld](https://tmblr.co/m1eEP9vBN6DHJWr199Y_vtQ)[@look-ma-no-hands336](https://tmblr.co/mhF5_x5b8RA8X8xYE42ONvA)

The weather is humid and is giving the impression of noir, as someone is running from prison, which, ironic, is the perfect feeling for this night to a certain group. The government of the US is sending their top agents to retrieve the fugitive, dead or alive, sadly for them, the fugitives are still missing.

“Miss Weller” the captain is talking with his boss “the Suicide Squad is still unknown” the captain speak uneasily as the general and the other men are searching in the dark for something that may be already out of the state, only God can know what those freaks can do.

“Captain Smith, retrieve your men right now, at this point, find them will be impossible, let´s clean our steps” is a silent order with many implications and the Captain understand what his real command is as the man shoot the scientists and their assists.

“The operation is cancelled” the Captain explained as many scientists are shoot “there´s no register of Suicide Squad”

Meanwhile, the fugitives are in the sewer, much to their dismay, the old cliche of comic books ended up saving their lives. Columbina, Blink, Ice Woman, Polaris, War Path and Croc Man are walking in the sewer and watching rats and crocodiles(an Urban Legend, but, this is New Gotham) alike without caring.

“So” Columbina  speaks breaking the silence “we went to magical electroshock that should have killed us, but, manage to take the chip in our minds, without giving any sequela, and we´re here…in the sewer, full of dirty water” Columbina speaks as she has a hard time to believe in anything that just happened, well, in a sense, Columbina needs to believe in order to keep her sanity.

Polaris, being the one with any source of light, as the sewer was never designed to have light, even in New Gotham “ No, what impressed me is the someone design this” she points the sewer “ to be bigger enough to any person or meta-human to walk freely, but, they refuse to put lights”

“Sometimes, we got to wonder,” Columbine said “how self-aware is New Gotham truly is”

Tori only sighs and complains about taxes. “Seriously, I do my taxes for that?!”

Blink intervene “we´re under the Suicide Squad, no one pays taxes, ironically, this has to be the only advantage the government ever give to us”

Warpath watches the two women complain about taxes and government, as Kitty is finding amazing how they went through electroshock and their hair doesn´t even look messy. And Dr Croc really wants a beer.

“What” the Apache man speaks gaining the attention of the others “ we will do now? Return for our old lives? Do we have this option?”

Kitty said nothing, neither did Polaris, as the green haired woman only speaks one line “I´m looking at a door, in the fucking sewer, and I can only say, only in New Gotham”

The silence rules of the group and the future is uncertain, Warpath is musing about the experience and the uncertainty of everything makes too real, freedom was a vague dream, and now, she´s offering many, many possibilities.

Freedom is at their hands and they still smell like they just get out of a sewer, well, they really did. And now, Polaris and the others are planning on what to do, New Gotham is dark now, and the sounds of sirens can be heard, is for them or for someone else?

People wearing hoods show up, speaking in a dialect that is akin to Chinese, Kitty deduces as she used to study languages before…Suicide Squad and the hood figures show weapons and are ready to fight.

Collective all they speak one thing. “Only in New Gotham” and quickly they all begin to fight with the hood figures, who, of course, know all the martial arts and magic one can think of, in the end, Suicide Squad wins over the hood figures as Columbina used her hammer to finishes the last enemy.

No blood or guts was meet, instead, only sand is left on the floor. “So, sand people are real?” Columbina asked and before she could receive an answer they are transported to a mansion.

Tori only sighs as she points out they are still in New Gotham, of course, in the Magical part. “When you´re rich why stay in the non-magical part of New Gotham? I hate rich people” Tori aka Ice Woman complains and War Path wonders what´s real anymore.

“Ah, finally, the Suicide Squad arrives” a new voice jolts them and they take a step back as Ra Al Ghoul is drinking wine and looking at them as a good host, everyone knows who Ra Al Ghoul is. Never make an enemy of this man. “Oh, please, don´t be afraid, if I´d want you dead you would be dead already”

“Thanks, that really breaks the ice,” Kitty said and Tori resents that line. “But, why are we here?”

“I´ll explain, but, first, Lorna Dane Lesher, I owe you the biggest apology I can give ” this surprise everyone, including Lorna herself, as no one expected this. Deep down, they are all thinking if Columbina is right and maybe the dirty water and the electroshock are a bad combination.

“Judge by all your confusing faces, I better explain myself, Lorna, your father, Erik Lesher was a good friend of mine, Magneto, the master of Magnetism, and when you went to live with your family by your mother´s side, Magneto asked me to keep an eye on you, you see,” Ra paused for a moment and continues “he had many enemies and he wanted you, his only daughter, to be saved and have a normal life, I did the best I could, but, I was a fool to not think the government wouldn´t use someone with your abilities and for that I apologise” Ra finishes his speech and Lorna has no idea what to say. Lorna looks at Kitty and asked her, with her green eyes pleading and only that, to do something.

“Look,” Kitty said “we went through hell, maybe you had seen many versions of hell” Ra agree he did, Kitty is not surprised “but, offer sand people to kill and apologies will do shit to our situation, we had no life, and nothing to grab on reality…I can´t speak by the others, but, I want revenge or justice, whatever appropriate word is need here, against the monsters who used me as a weapon, I want to kill them, and I´d not think you want to help us”

“But, Miss Pryde…I´d want to help” Ra speaks offering a smile “You all want to murder, and I can sympathise with revenge, but, I can give more than a shiny weapon, well, no one here needs a weapon, I can give you a cover”

Lorna now speaks, still shocked(in more ways than another) about the revelation and is gazing at Ra Al Ghoul “how can you help us?”

“And what this will cost us?” Kitty adds as no one would give big favour for free, especially someone like Ra Al Ghoul.

“I can give you the perfect cover, now, for the price…I just want everyone´s discretion” he offers in a velvet tone and the others take a minute to consider the option.

“Well, when the devil makes an offer and we have no other option and we just defeat sand people, why not?” Kitty said shrugging comically. Lorna has still no concrete idea of what to think right now, her father passed away and still surprises her even in the grave.

3 years later, one of the popular shows is “You´re wrong” is the most popular Talk show in the history of TV, only losing to “sketch TV” a show that introduces the news how people like and the fans and haters often point out many of the greatest or worst moments of the program, often using each moment to prove journalism is dead or is doing alright.

Few realize that Sketch TV is not a channel of journalism, is a comedy show, lead by Kitty Pryde, Tori Drake and Lorna Dane, Clarice Fong, James Jonathan Proudstar and Eric “Croc” James

“Ryder, careful” Vera speaks drinking her cup of coffee “you can be overshadowed by this Sketch TV”

“Vera, they are a comedy show,” Ryder said a bit amused, but, as he´s looking at some of the old sketches, Kitty giving details about how a person can steal a diamond, something clicked in his mind “but life is a comedy” and he is off to investigate and prepare his next news.


	2. Meetings

N/A: Yep, this will be a new au, now, this one will be a bit short as I want to make how Columbina and Creepy meet, and, do I make the “I seek Justice” a subplot? Maybe

[@djinmer4](https://tmblr.co/mxHYMDeZZDFikE3hSuF95pw) [@sailorstar9](https://tmblr.co/mcaoIthPNblJijna-z71kBQ) [@dannybagpipesarecalling](https://tmblr.co/mFnNRC1RNxNrSMp3XFz5yKg) [@discordsworld](https://tmblr.co/m1eEP9vBN6DHJWr199Y_vtQ)[@look-ma-no-hands336](https://tmblr.co/mhF5_x5b8RA8X8xYE42ONvA)

The sirens are ringing, as usual, a pink diamond is being held at the Metropolitan Museum of New Gotham and Columbina only smiles as the diamond is present and no security is fit to go against Columbina or prevent her small hands to grab the pink diamond.

She giggles happily as the pink diamond is in her hands. Phasing and gymnastic abilities are perfect for a cat burglar. “A pink diamond in the hand” she speaks and as she is running, well, to be exact, she´s hovering in the air, some cops watch her and once having the proof Kitty is intangible, call to commiserate Gordon.

Meanwhile, Columbina is moving to the Penthouse area and is giggling happily, however, once again someone is watching the figure. Dark Claw was having a low night, almost returning back home, but, now that Columbina is doing her schemes, the man should go against her.

“You know what? I´ll call him, this is his area of expertise” Dark Claw send an auto-message to his ally “after all, he loves blondes” Dark Claw speaks as Columbina´s wig still give the impression that she a blonde, but, Dark Claw know many villains and villainess use wigs in this …so called profession.

The woman is on a balcony as gazing at Emma Gay for a moment, the blonde woman is not happy to see the clow woman as her sneer increase. “Leave or I´ll call the police”

“Sure, sure,” Columbina speaks with her fake accent and adjust herself to show the diamond better “you better do call, because, then we can figure it out why the diamond in the museum is fake and why you have the real version?” Kitty crushes the diamond with a glee in her eyes and now, slowly, Emma puts her phone down “Frosty can´t resist a pink diamond, and the police wants to arrest anyone for that crime…imagine that”

Emma sneers at Columbina. “Are you being petty?” and adds in her snobbish way “the clow girl is trying to take down the Queen?”

Columbina shakes her head, in a rather comical way. “No, I just want to mess around with a dumbass” Columbina replies easily and Emma is ready to take her whip, sadly, the real blonde didn´t remember Columbina´s power so the whip is pointless.

“When you see a Queen for me to take down, let me know, ok? Frosty, oh, words of advice” she smiles childishly now “don´t mess with me unless you are ready to burn” she is flying now.

Emma is now screaming at the top of her lungs. “Columbina! I´ll get you” she is screaming and many neighbours are telling Emma to be quiet, meanwhile, Columbina just shouts back “Do you want to tell the world your secret? Miss Gay”

And now Emma Gay is dumbfounded. Columbina is her new nemesis and she will destroy her. (Emma Gay knows New Gotham has space for only one burglar and isn´t Columbina)

As she´s flying around thinking how the museum will deal with this new situation, the blame will go on her, but, the museum can also activate the insurance and get millions.

“Oh, the woes of being an agent of insurance. Must be a really, really crazy job here” Columbina speaks to herself, but, someone seems to join the conversation.

“I´d agree and I know a thing about crazy.” A man covered in green fur and wearing something Jojo Bizarre adventure would be proud waves his tail (of course, he has a tail) as a big grin meet on his face. “And who are you, fraun?”

“German?” Columbina speaks, still with her fake accent, and the man seems to found the answer worth to laugh maniacally, somehow, Columbina is not afraid.

“You´re not really from Germany, uhm, in fact, you don´t seem to be from Australia either” the green fur man speaks pondering for a mere second, and Columbina likes to think her impression of accents is improving if people are being able to place a country on the accent. “what´s your name?”

“Don´t be creepy, you should introduce yourself first before asking for a woman´s name” Kitty speaks crossing her arms. The green fur man giggles amused and didn´t let that stop him. “Is Nightcreepr, actually, now, what´s your name?”

Kitty pouts for a moment, the man is clearly crazy, but hey, Columbina had a crazy life and besides, life is a comedy. “The name is Columbina”

“Not German?” he asked giggling madly at this. Columbina pouts at this. “No, not German, and what are you doing here? Wanna steal something?”

“Oh, Madchen, I would rather steal you”

“Lame pick-up, dude, and I’ve got a hammer”

And soon, her night was not lonely anymore as Nightcreeper makes sure of it, overall, he´s not that bad, but, the man is clearly crazy, but, not a  bad companion.

On the next day, Kitty Pryde is on the elevator, she has to shoot a new episode of Sketch TV, however, the woman is a bit tired as she did spend too much time with Creepy and didn´t manage to steal thanks for that.

The woman let a yawn and when she opens her eyes, Kurt Ryder, from the Gotham News, is there with her. “Guten Tag, Miss Pryde”

Kitty blinks. “Oh, you´re wrong” she points at him comically and he just chuckles. “Sorry, I´m a bit sleepy, and, you´re that guy from You´re wrong”

“Well, you´re right,” he said looking at her chestnut hair tied up in a bun, her pink lips, her red outfit, and a sleepy face, it is a rather cute expression, he has to admit. “rough night?”

“Well, I meet someone last night, the guy is fun, a bit crazy here and there, but, hey, we´re all a bit crazy sometimes” Kitty explained as the elevator is still on the second floor, Kitty has to go to the fourth floor. Kurt Ryder smiles at that.

“I see, well, if you need coffee, the cafeteria has a new machine” he offers gentle, and Kitty refuses saying she already take a nice cup of coffee. “What I need is to do my work and laugh” she speaks as now the elevator is on the fourth floor. “And you, keep doing the real journalism…people don´t really get that my show is a comedy, not a real journalistic show”

Kurt Ryder is smiled as he has to go to the fifth floor. Kitty Pryde is really cute and is cuter without the fake accent.


	3. Daily Life

N/A: Uhm, I confess writing Nightcreeper is a bit of challenge for me, which is ironic, I can make smart yandy or evil yandys, but, Creepy? IS a new story. So, let´s see how to make their relationship seems more natural. Again, not sure about the subplot here.

The New Gotham´s alleys are so iconic as the amusement park that are often abandoned by the government, in a sense, Columbina wonders if New Gotham isn´t being ruled by vampires as the city lives for the most macabre and thematically sinister impression as possible.

To further prove her point, a monster made of clay shows up and is terrorizing the citizen, well, when this happens daily is a bit hard to be too scared. Dark Claw arrives to stop the monster and Nightcreeper as well.

But, Columbina muses, as the two heroes dress up in a fursuit(Creepy is natural fur, but, what´s Dark Claw´s excuse), the citizen isn´t the primary goal in their mission. So, Columbina uses her powers to control the damage.

"Told you, she would be a great hero" Nightcreeper speaks giggling maniacally as the monster tries to squash the green furry hero, but, each punch does nothing and Dark Claw is thankfully this lunatic is on their side.

Finally, Dark Claw and Creepy defeated the monster, it was a man with a unique mutation that Hyena was exploiting. This and only this caught Columbina´s attention. Tonight, she just wanted to steal something and have fun, but, the name Hyena drop the mood.

"This is Sherman Clarson, the Hyena must have made him an offer he could refuse" Dark Claw speaks, but, Columbina pipes in the conversation, no longer showing mirth or her teasing smile. "you´ll send him to Arkham?"

Creepy watches as even with that makeup, her concern is so evident and he can see her eyes, how her mouth twitch involuntarily and how she gulps looking at the man who used to be a monster. There´s compassion in her eyes and Creepy never saw any villain show such eyes to anyone before.

"Yes, of course," Dark Claw speaks narrow his eyes and being his paranoid self, his new armour is made by a material that Columbina can´t phase, well, he´s based everything on a hazard guess, but, Dark Claw won´t let any chance for the bad luck.

"Can you look after him? Look, " Columbina paused to gather strength for her fake accent " I´d not know his story and neither does you or him " she points a bit amused at Creepy " but this man sure didn´t have a great time with Hyena and...people can be cruel in New Gotham," she said. Dark Claw was about to refuse, ready to list all his crimes when Creepy pipes in the conversation.

"Oh, don´t be a meanie. You would look at the prisoners anyway, what´s the harm in keeping an eye for this man? Maybe he´s another innocent soul that was in the wrong place and time or maybe he´s the evillest son of a bitch. Bottom line, Dark Claw, is always there to give the benefit of the doubt"

Dark Claw didn´t say anything as the police arrive and the once monster is still unconscious. Creepy smiles and told to a confused Columbina "it means he will look after him, Dark Claw is a man of few words"

Columbina nods "I see, he should learn how to stop talking so much, it can be annoying" she jokes along with Creepy and the two run from the police, she was about to ask why he´s tagging along, but, hey, is better not run alone.

  
"Hey" Creepy speaks as now they are on a rooftop gazing at the stars. " have you meet the Hyena?"

Columbina frowned and replied with one question. "People think we used to be lovers?"

"Well, kind of, he did mention your name once, but, I wasn´t paying attention, I was having fun jungle him" Creepy adds with his trademark smile that makes Columbina feel better and this prove she really dislike Hyena.

"No, we´re never lovers and EWW," she said a bit annoyed "just because I´m a woman and he´s a man, the only history we can have is romance?" she shakes her head, "no, I was taking order from...not nice people and Hyena was one of them, albeit, he´s was more like a guest boss than the real boss"

Creepy blinks at this. "Do you still work for those bad people?"

Columbina has an enigmatic smile on her face. "No, but I´m not good either, Creepy, cause I may be working with the devil himself now" there´s the melancholy here again and Creepy does not like it.

"I may be the wacko with green fur, but, from what I have seen so far, Columbina is not an evil person. You saved the people from the monster when I was fighting the monster" then he whispers in her ear "and I was saving Dark Claw again" and she giggles at that because it is true.

"And you show mercy for that man and you don´t even know him. I say you´re a hero material alright" Creepy manages to make Columbina feels better with herself. "Plus, you like to save all the animals, even alligators"

"Hey, how do you know that?" Columbina asked and the man gives one of his mad giggles and Columbina let it go, for now, they are watching the stars and that´s nice.

"Do you want to make out looking at the stars?"

"Same old Creepy"

On the next morning, Kitty Pryde enters the studio. The situation is a bit complex, the New Gotham is sharing their space for the Sketch TV as a billionaire is renting, the man is the patron for this show and somehow manages to introduce the show to the others channels. Of course, the Sketch TV is a really good show, but, good contact can lead to success.

Kurt Ryder watches as Kitty Pryde is taking the elevator, once again, to her show. Yawning like a cat and holding a cup of coffee. "Guten Tag, Miss Pryde"

"Oh, Hey, Kurt. You can call me Kitty, Miss Pryde makes me feel old" she speaks and continues "hey, did about last night?"

Kurt Ryder suppresses a smile and only adds. "No, something happen?" he asked innocently enough and Kitty shows a big smile as she retail, in a bit exaggerated way, how Dark Claw and Nightcreeper defeated a monster. "Nightcreeper? Kitty, you believe in that urban legend?"

"Kurt, he´s real, I saw him" then she realize she speaks too much "I mean, I was in a safe distance, of course" she quickly lied and Kurt nods, again, hiding the smile "but, I did saw him, the wacko with green fur. You know, he´s a bit crazy here and there, but, he´s ...not bad" she said and there´s a tiny blush on her face and Kurt is now smiling for a different reason. She is too cute.

"And you said Columbina too?" Kurt Ryder asked and the elevator stops on her floor.

"Wait, how do you know Columbina was there?" Kitty asked knowing she didn´t mention her own part in the story.

"Oh, just a guess"

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Enter the demon

N/A: More bonding for Kurt and Kitty and then to Creepy and Columbina. And Etrigan enters here.

New Gotham is not often plagued with monsters, sometimes, is just a super-villain trying to take over the world, and Columbina watches as the Super-villain is giving bits of his fascinating flashback, sadly for the heroes, the super-villain is stronger than his motivations to be evil. Columbina is watching as Sparrow is trying to take the evil-doer, but, failing.

Not a hero by any shot. Kitty thought. But, I hate to see an annoying piece of shit like him winning, plus, villain being evil because a girl rejected him deserves to get a good ass whip.

Columbina enters in action and manages to catch Sparrow right in time, the villain was ready to use a death ray on Sparrow. “Hey, fancy to see you here” Columbina replied amused flying with Sparrow.

“Columbina!” Sparrow won´t make questions if she was trying to steal something “The villain has many weapons and I can´t get closer, Dark Claw is after his teammates and I …should have been able to defeat the villain”

“Hey, hey, stop with this attitude, Sparrow or you´ll be as gloomy as Dark Claw, even he needs help, Creepy is always saving him, besides, I´m here and my agenda is free to kick ass of annoying incel” Columbina said and this prompts Sparrow gives a wide smile and Columbina can notice she did fall from a trap.

“Great, cause I have a plan and I´ll need your help,” Sparrow said with a big smile resembling Jubilee Lee Wayne and Columbina sighs just like Kitty Pryde would. The fight and the plan prove to be more than enough for this villain and in the end, he was defeated, all the while cursing Sparrow and Columbina´s names.

Nightcreeper shows up giggling madly to Dark Claw who is bemused with the situation. Creepy runs to Columbina and spins her around “You did another super-hero action? Ah, I knew it, you´re heroic”

Columbina sighs as the man finally puts her down “Creepy! I´ve told you before, I´m not a hero, I´m …a wild card” she said smiling now, “but, never mind me, and you?”

The lunatic gives a big smile showing his teeth as he relates all of his adventures, all the while, bouncing around, it´s boring for him to be still in one place. “And then the weird lady throw a jelly ray on Dark Claw, but, not like that, Dark Claw is not envious of me or anything” more mad giggles and Columbina is still there listening to his tale “it was a real jelly”

“Yeah, it´s a look that goes well with him, and you? Hit up with this weird lady?” Columbina asked crossing her arms amused, but, this make Creepy change his behaviour. “No, not all. She´s an evil and nasty woman who wanted to kill anything that comes in her way, besides, even if she wasn´t an evil woman…Columbina is much better and I rather stay with her”

Columbina is thankfully for the makeup, white-black imitating the poker aesthetic, really cover her blush. Meanwhile, Dark Claw and Sparrow are looking at them a little amused and Sparrow is giving tissues for Dark Claw to clean himself.

“What you think of them, Sparrow?” Dark Claw asked.

“They´re a crazy couple, that´s for sure”

  
Kitty Pryde is on the studio, already finished all her scenes, and wants to disconnect from the job, she made too many jokes at her expenses and no one will ever know her traumas, no one needs to know about them.

“Hi, now, are we coffee buddies?” Kurt Ryder asked holding his mug of coffee and gazing at her mug, both are drinking coffee with mugs that said “Dark Claw approved” with a cartoon image of the real hero smiling in the most cartoonish way possible.

“We can be buddies if you want, Ryder,” she said and let the man sit next to her, they are in the cafeteria and she looks at his eyes, the man is wearing glasses and never once she saw him wearing one.

“Oh, my glasses? I use them to read, nothing much” Kurt explained and offers a charming smile. “And you?”

“No, I´d not use glasses” Kitty states smugly.

“Well, you would look cute either way, but, my question is: how are you? Your last sketches seem a bit dark, you like to make fun of Columbina and I want to see if you´re alright” Kurt respond hoping to sound tactile, many people accused him of being too brazen.

“Oh, well, I guess this joke is getting old now, I´d not know what to do anymore, on the show, to be honest, I´d not understand much of the journalism world, so, is easier to make fun of Columbina” Kitty explained and this is one of the reasons. He does not need to know the others.

Kurt takes his coffee and then answers. “I can teach you something, we´re in New Gotham, and we journalists see so many shits” this somehow makes Kitty laughs “Wait, can you say shit?”

“On TV? Depends on the program, on real life? Only when the situation is really shitty” Kurt Ryder replied and Kitty is laughing again.

“Ok, smart-ass, teach me your ways”

And so, it begins the relationship between Kurt Ryder and Kitty Pryde, a relationship purely professional that no one believes is really professional.

  
Columbina is doing her patrol(“Uhm, even the word sounds heroic!”) when she saw a rather peculiar scene. A demon like a creature was protecting a mother and a child from a man wearing all black and who was casting several spells.

The spells, judging by the wizard´s expression, should have hurt the demon but it failed. The demon didn´t want much and quickly knock the man down and urging the mother and kid to run. The wizard used a spell and run away.

The demon is not pleased and notices Columbina hovering in the air. The two look at each other for a moment. “Are you a witch?”

“No, just a Columbina”

And soon, the talk involves and they´re talking about the incident. The wizard is part of a cult that wants to use a woman to revive their god. Well, is a lesser god if compared to the outer gods, but, is still a god and has no good intentions for Earth.

“Should you call for help to JLX?”

“Look at me, Columbina, do you think they will listen to a demon?” And with that, the demon deems the conversation over, well, “is nice to talk with you, Columbina, but, I´ll have to take this cult on my own” and leave Columbina behind.

She rolls her eyes bemused.

  
Etrigan is using his human disguise and is in a bar(never mind the gazes people are giving to a priest drinking beer here) watching TV, Sketch TV, and notices new sketches to the program, the Kitty Pryde seems to have changed her approaches.

“Hehehe that´s was funny,” Etrigan said amused to the jokes and is back to his beer. A woman with chestnut hair and doe eyes sits next to him, and this makes Etrigan wonder why a woman is here, in such bad looking bar(but is not self-aware to realize priests shouldn´t be in this type of bar either) but refrain to speak anything and is back looking at the TV.

“Heheheehehe that´s was also funny and true,” Etrigan said as now the show is entering the commercial breaks.

“Hey, “ the woman speaks with him and Etrigan can see she´s eerily similar to the actress that was acting in the TV, but, is just a coincidence right? “are you the demon on the park a few days ago?”

“How did you know?” Etrigan hissed now in a panic. His disguise is perfect.

“I´ve friends in many places” she won´t tell Ra Al Ghoul to indulge her questions about demons and cults. “did you manage to take down the cult of steal your woman?”

“The name is cult of rebirth, but, yeah, this name makes more sense, and no, sadly, I´ve no more news of them” Etrigan confessed bemused. The cult seems to have vanished from Earth and is a frustrating feeling.

“I can help you, well, I know people that can”

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because I´m Columbina”

And later Etrigan meets Dark Claw and Nightcreeper, talks about creepy cult were made, along with how he meet Columbina and together the heroes managed to take down the cult. To celebrate, Dark Claw is taking everyone to drink ice cream. Even Sparrow and Columbina are involved.

JLX invite Etrigan to be a member, even after the demon show to be a bit crazy or playfully as Nightcreeper. A kiss on Dark Claw´s check is proving enough and is not everyone that makes the broody hero jaw drop.

“Columbina, do you want to be a hero?” Creepy asked eating his pistachio ice cream.

“I´d not know, Creepy, but, whatever decision I make, it will be mine to make” Columbina replied after taking a bite on her chocolate ice cream.

“Ok, I just want you to know that you´re an amazing person. Sometimes, when I see Sketch TV, I fear you may not think so fondly of yourself, but, I can´t do much about this, all I can say is: you´re are amazing”

“You´re very corny, creepy,” she said with a sincere smile.

Kitty Pryde is with her crew in a much better bar along with Etrigan who is sharing tales of his past, the moral of his story is to not have sex with a witch. The hottest club is a property Penguin owns.

“Then, she killed the entire royal family and population and cursed me to have this scar” Etrigan points at the scar. Blink nods and makes comments about the witches she has met.  
Meanwhile, Logan Wayne, Jubilee Lee Wayne and Kurt Ryder arrives in the same bar and are looking for a place to sit, well, Jubilee was, Kurt was gazing at the scene and Logan is amused.  
“Jelly, Kurt?” Logan asked.

“What? No, Kitty has every right to hang out with her friends…but, I´d not trust Etrigan completely”

“Hum-hum”

“I´m not jealous. Logan”

“I so believe in you”


	5. Reveal

Misfit au (a good meeting)

N/A: ideas make the world turn around. Djinmer4 give me some ideas and now, this chapter exists. Columbina is really smart, but, a bit naïve and I think that´s a combination I can like. I think that Kitty´s group still using the Suicide Squad is a bit cruel, especially as it is linked to tragedy, so, they´re now the Siren.

Captain Washington asked for help of all heroes, and in a turn of events that shocked no one, she asked Columbina´s help as well along with the others Sirens to defeat a super-villain that can control time, It was a very intense battle that highlights each one best ability. In the end, the good guys defeat the villain. (“We´re not the good guys, we´re neutral part” “Oh, my bad, Columbina”)

The side effect is that everyone is extremely tired, especially one Columbina, Blink and Warpath went together home, the couple makes no secret they are together, Polaris is behind talking with White Witch and QuickFlash, Ice Woman is showing some energy to the fire type heroine FireAngel( now making impossible for Tory to make fun of Kitty´s liaison with Creepy) and finally, Doc Croc went with Dark Claw, in few words, both will capture the rogue villain that was helping the primary villain of the week.

Columbina is far too tired to crack jokes, instead, she flies away and immediately spots her house. She weirds out a little as her house seems bigger than usually is, but, then again, she´s tired and everything looks different in the dark.

Columbina saw her couch and shirking herself as a cat would. It didn't need much to make Columbina sleep and have nice dreams, it was a shame Creepy wasn´t there in the mission, but, she can fill him in later.

Kurt Ryder wakes up in his usual time. Groaning loudly the man leave the bed and went to the kitchen to make the breakfast, as usual, except, one sleeping Columbina is in his view. And a smile plays on his face as the woman does sleep as her namesake suggests. Like a kitty.

Finally, Columbina wakes up, again, resembling an adorable cat, and looks around confused for a moment and then her eyes(still with her make up intact) search and found Kurt Ryder and quickly jumps from the couch. “What are you doing in my house? Wait, that´s not my house, what am I doing here?”

Kurt Ryder is so thankful for the acting lessons he had or else he would burst laughter now.”That´s my house, Columbina, and I´m about to make breakfast, would mind to join me?”  
The explanation Columbina offers is that she misses her own house, which again, Kurt is amused but is still keeping a professional look. Columbina is now trying to fix this little mistake a civilian can´t know who she is nor has any contact with Columbina.

They eat breakfast, well, Columbina had to make as Ryder is a terrible cooker. “How?” is the only question she made and without waiting for an answer is doing breakfast (Ryder manages to explode their breakfast and spoiling his own shirt) and Ryder is being really professional about it.

Once real food is put on the table, she is gazing upon him. The famous reporter of “you´re wrong” is right next to her and Kitty knows how Kurt Ryder is the type to go all the way for a new. Time to cut the evil by its root.

“Look, Ryder” she forgets to make her fake accent and quickly adjust this situation, however, the accent seems a bit Germanic now and Kurt Ryder is being too professional, while, Kitty is blushing and pretending to clear her throat. “I mean, Look, Ryder, I´m a dangerous person and I´d admit I made a mistake last night” Kitty feels as she just had one night stand and is trying to leave this prompts her to blush again, thank god for the good make up “and I need to know you won´t babble about this. My secret life needs to be kept as a secret”

Kurt Ryder can understand that. “I can understand that. So, rest assured, Columbina, no one will know what happened last night” Kurt Ryder can play with words too.

Kitty blushes and went far beyond than what she was planning. “Look, if you break this promise I can call Creepy to visit you and he won´t like “ Kitty crosses her arms and looks intimidating enough, at least, that´s what she hopes for.

Kurt Ryder is thankful for the acting lessons. “Oh, really?! I somehow doubt you can make Nightcreeper do anything he does not want to do”

Kitty just smirks “Wanna bet? Ryder, you may be strong, but, Creepy is way stronger and the man really likes to protect me” Kitty nods remembering the last event they face together, without her knowing, Ryder is thinking the same.

“Oh, then, by all means, maybe, you should call him now. In fact, “Ryder gives her his phone “go call him now, I think this is something he needs to know”

Kitty pretends to dial a number (the art of faking pressing digits is overreacting) and pretends to call with Creepy. Somehow, there´s something wrong in this scene that she can´t put a finger on. “So, yeah, if he babbles out…you´ll kick his ass? Thanks”

Kurt Ryder is so thankful for the acting lessons.

Kitty Pryde meet Kurt Ryder in the halfway of his studio, a cacophony of sounds are being made and Kitty sees Ryder in the centre of attention of everyone. The man stops giving an order(much to the interns' relief) once spotting Kitty Pryde.

“Everyone, break of 5 minutes” Ryder suggest/order and no one is questioned the perfectionist.

“Uh, sorry, I didn´t mean to stop your work” Kitty starts once they are on a coffee and the man just waves off saying he needs a break anyway and he prefers to drink coffee with her then give orders to his interns.

Kitty is biting her lips as she summons the courage to ask. “So, anything out of normal happens to you? I mean, on my way here I saw Green Tempest fighting with her boyfriend and it was a loud fight”

Kurt Ryder is too amused now. “No, actually, nothing happens with me, my morning was pretty mundane, was the fight that serious?” Kurt asked noticing her shock face. “Oh, yes, I think they were in a love triangle, so, your morning was…normal? Nothing of extraordinary happens?”

Kurt puts his coffee down and then looks at her. “Well, something did happen” and Kitty is looking at him firmly. “I wake up and that´s extraordinary”

Kitty is speechless. Kurt continues speaking. “Actually, since we´re here, do you still want more tips for your show? Making fun of journalism should be made but…you need the right pieces” Kitty blinks and nods.

And they spend more than 5 minutes talking and Kitty is taking notes. Somehow, this begins their routine. And Kitty can say the man is trustworthy.

“You know, when I heard about you, I thought you were just arrogant, but, now, I can see you´re more than that and I´m impressed with how much you conquered in such short time” Kitty speaks and Kurt Ryder can offer a smile mixing a bit of gratefulness and smugness.

“You did conquer a lot too. Your show, for example, is rare to see a show where the humour is not based on racism or sexism. You´re far intelligent than you give credit for”

“I just make fun of Columbina, but, maybe I self-project into her…” her face is devoid of her usual smile and Kurt Ryder wants to know what happened on Kitty´s past, what she´s hiding

“Well, then, believe me, you´re far more intelligent than you give credit for,” Ryder said in a soft tone.

“So, I could be a reporter like you?”

“Uhm, with lots of training I´d not see why not”  
____________________________________________________________________  
Kitty is back at her place and is ready to call a day and enjoy a nice free night, however, a green furry lunatic has other plans. Nightcreeper is on the balcony on her house far too amused as the man points out the many fun spots he could find.

“Creepy!” Kitty replied happy to see the man, until, she realizes he never actually meet Kitty Pryde, so, she changes her demur to a scared woman. “Who are you, you creepy dude?” and Kitty has the broom in her hands as an improvised weapon.

Creepy is only giggling madly at this. “Cute, very cute,” he said as adjusting his boa and then sitting on her coach, he mentioned, how her coach is smaller than it should be and Kitty has no idea what he meant by that. “I´m here to see you”

“what?”

“Yeah, Columbina called me saying Ryder is may giving her trouble and I thought, hey, the best time to see how Columbina is doing on her free night” Creepy explained giving one of his smiles and is pleased that she´s sitting next to him.

“You knew I was Columbina the entire time?”

“Of course, I didn´t tell you?”

  
Nightcreeper is on patrol and Columbina is right along with him, Dark Claw is asking for help and the lunatic has no problem in going cartoony with the rescue plan. Columbina watches as the Hyena´s henchman flee in fear as the lunatic is giggling chasing after the criminals. Columbina is really only watching.

Bullets do nothing for Nightcreeper.  
Knives mean nothing.

And the Hyena even try to run over Nightcreeper, which, of course, it fails completely and the Hyena is begging to be arrested. Dark Claw and Jubilee arrive, having to take the hostages of Hyena to a safe place, and are ready to lock Hyena away for good.

“Creepy, that was amazing,” she said and the lunatic beams at her compliments. “So, Creepy, can I introduce you to Ryder? I mean, I know he won´t tell my secret but…if he sees you …”

Nightcreeper laughs and shakes his head. “No, sounds boring, let´s do something else”

Jubilee and Dark Claw look at each other. “So, she still has no clue?”

  
Columbina is a creature of habits, she knows that, so if Kitty Pryde has a habit of always meeting Kurt Ryder and talking with him, then, Columbina has the same one. The man is reading the news as Columbina arrives.

“If you want me to keep your secret as a secret show up in broad daylight is not the way to go” Ryder chastised her a little, but, Columbina waves him off.

“Green Tempest and her boyfriend are made up and no longer bowling, is on twitter now” and Columbina´s words are true. “I´m here to…” she stops her dark tone when she looks at the kitchen “AGAIN?”

Kurt Ryder just smiles apologetically. And once again, Columbina has to make him breakfast. Once is done she said. “Look, I talk with Creepy and he won´t do anything with you, it was difficult to convince him but he won´t hurt you, I can trust you”

“Thanks, I can sleep better now”

“But” now her eyes are a bit dark and Ryder has to admit now she looks 10x hotter “I need to know what is your intentions with Kitty Pryde” and then she amends by adding “she´s my favourite actress and I don´t see her in pain” her eyes narrow at him and again, she gets 10x hotter now. Thank god, he´s not on his Creepy form.

“My intentions with Kitty Pryde are the best. I want to date her if she wants me”

This caught Columbina out of the guard. “I ask around about your love life and well, Kitty Pryde does need to deal with any crazy ex”

“Fair enough, but, I´d want to date her, my crazy ex is just that. Crazy and my ex. There´s no love triangle here” Kurt is really good at acting “she´s cute, smart, resilient and ambitious. Many people ask me why I would want her, and honestly, those people are blind, why no one would want to date a woman like her?”

Columbina is looking away cleaning her make up as she´s crying a little. “Well, ok, I´m just making sure as you know…no crazy ex” Kurt nods “ and if you do something with her…I´ll call Creepy”

Kurt nods sagely.

  
“Creepy?” Columbina asked resting her face on his chest who is vibrating as the man is laughing maniacally “one, don´t do evil laughter, you don´t need, and two, what are we?”

“A physiological question to make. Maybe we´re just characters from a fanfiction, who knows?”

“No that, I mean, us. Would you be mad if I accept someone´s else invitation to a date, would you be mad?”  
Creepy now looks at Columbina. “Who?” his voice is showing displeasure and Columbina adds. “Kurt Ryder” and that´s the magic word as the man is back to his happy crazy self.

“Oh, no, not a problem, Katzchen” Creepy promised.

Columbina blinks.

  
Kurt Ryder asking Kitty Pryde is big news for the interns and works. Vera Sweet is giving all the details of the fact (“He was pinning over her, it was so obvious” “True, do you think she likes him” “Duh”)

Meanwhile, the date is going alright. Kitty Pryde is an honest person and she won´t lie to him. “Look, I´m also dating a lunatic and the lunatic knows about you”

“Really? What´s the name of the lunatic?”

“You seem far too calm, but ok, is Nightcreeper”

“You like that lunatic?”

“Yes, but, I like you too…and Oh, I must sound confusing or selfish”

“No, not really, I´m Nightcreeper and I appreciate you like me no matter what”

After an explanation and apology, Kitty understands what happened. So, of course, she throws a glass of water on his face (“really? Why you didn´t tell me this before?!” “sorry, I thought you did knew”) the couple is now talking about future.

Bonus:  
“So, are you telling me, she never knew you and Nightcreeper were the same person?” Logan asked in one of the hottest bars in New Gotham.

“Nope”

“But…she knew right away I was Dark Claw”

“Logan, this is not a hard thing to discover”


	6. Underneath

N/A: I´ll use this plotline that Columbina has an agenda, look, the mystery not my forte, per se, but, hey, I think I can do something better than the current Marvel events.

The government of the US often select the military division of New Gotham as being one of the best places to do experiments. The president of the US does believe in this statement even more as the old president was violently murder by a gang group, it was a bit ironic, Trump supports the white nationalist, but, a rumour saying Trump was a Lizard people make the gang revolts against their leader and no one survive in the massacre, well, no one that matters.

The new president has lots of issues to resolve, but, he always has time to see what New Gotham´s military division has to offer. The Suicide Squad sounds amazing...on paper.

"That project can´t be linked to the new presidency or administration, we had our fair share of Trump´s dirty deeds to fix it," the president said and Amanda Weller assured him everything is under control. The program is cancelled and everything was dealt with accordingly.

As the president is out of the facility Amanda´s mask crumple and she asks one of her generals about the current situation. "They are under Ra Al Ghoul´s protection and if we go against him...we´ll lose many things"

"They won´t be quiet about what happened" Amanda replied bemused. "And news about them?"

"No, they are well behaved for now"

Meanwhile, New Gotham is facing a typical night, heroes and villains playing along, however, Columbina is not among the groups. She´s in a different place, Arkham prison to be exact.

"Halt," the brave keeper said to Columbina as she´s going to the file´s archive. The woman didn´t stop her movements and many bullets are shot at her without any success.

One kick on his stomach and the guy was out. "Weak, I had to be taken down by more than one kick" she replied. And walks to the files room. All the files about Suicide Squad are there, of course, why wouldn´t be? but they are a highlight in black so no one can read what´s written.

Columbina bites her lips again and a loud tsk escape her lips. "Of course, I should have expected this"

And she leaves Arkham with the file in her hands, in front of the entrance/exit of Arkham was the general that hunt her down like an animal. The man has a special gun aimed to Columbina´s head.

"I should know you would come back here, freak, you can´t resist going back to the place where you were born" the general replied.

" That´s so edgy, did you steal that from a Hot Topic?" Columbina asked and the general shot at her, instead of a bullet, it was electroshock. It should have to make Columbina pass out, but, that´s not what happened. "and now are you recycling plot? Well, there´s too many of you so...makes sense"

More shock is sent to her body, but, Columbina is completely unphased by this. "Oh, shock does not shock me anymore" And she phases his heart out, no remorse for this man, not for this kill.

_________________  
On the next day, the news is covering the death of the said general. Kitty is looking at the image of the dead body and then back to Kurt Ryder. "It was you" Kitty nods "why?"

"He was one of the heads of Suicide Squad, he ...make me endorse so much pain just to be the fitting killing machine...seems comic his perfect killing machine end him" and now she asked seriously this time. "Now, is not so funny date Columbina or Kitty Pryde, do you want to end this? Or do you want to be dramatic and call the police?"

"Now, you´re being dramatic here. Katzchen, I won´t end things because of that, I want to understand what´s going on...You don´t have to do this alone"

"I´m too broken, Kurt, " she said with watery eyes.

"Each piece of you is unique, Kitty, wanna know why? Because it makes you."

"Sappy" she jokes drying her tears. Kurt holds her hands and listens patiently as Kitty tells all about Suicide Squad, how everything happened and what happened since day 1. Now, Kurt is not feeling sorry for the general.

 

 


	7. Butterfly

N/A: Amanda is here to be punished.

 

Butterfly is the name of the greatest heroine that ever graced Earth, sure, some opinions may defer(99% of JLX does have positive reviews on the heroine) in fact, everyone is jealous of her and only one person is sponsoring her. Slade Wilson. All the money she can ask for in exchange from a few "favours" and she´ll gladly do so, especially as the man is gorgeous and not a fuzzy freaky.

 

The butterfly is actually Amanda Szardos and she knows how vital she´s for the JLX. Even if they´re too blind and stupid to notice ("No, I don´t work with her" "But, Runaway..." "NO!")

 

Amanda knows how Runaway was jealous of her power, after all, Butterfly is the most powerful witch ever. (Actually, some claim the Szardos are so weak that the sacred magical clans don´t add them to the list)

 

At the moment, thanks to a generous donation from her sponsor, Mr Wilson, she´s in "Max Power"(a temporary moniker) a small group specialised in rescue. The woman is talking in a berating tone to the others, especially to Acqua, a weird metahuman from Vietnam that can control water and has telepathic powers.

 

She points her at the face angrily. "You, follow my lead"

 

"Wonderful, really, and what´s your plan again? Let everyone dies? Face you don´t have a plan and the few actions you took lead to a civilian getting severely wound, luck for you, Jasmine has healing abilities" and now, Acqua is talking with the team as she has a new plan. The first step of her plan is to ignore Amanda.

 

The situation is simple for them. Some bank rubbers make hostages and they need to take them there safely. Thanks to Acqua, the hostages are saved and sound, but, Amanda is having none of that.

 

She uses her power on Acqua, hitting the Vietnamese's back and this makes the other superheroine really mad. And Acqua has no problem in attacking back. Amanda realizes with horror how to outclass she really is.

 

Xi´an stops attacking once Sparrow arrives and explains the situation. "She got on my nerves and I´m usually pretty calm about working with new people, I want her out of my team"

 

Sparrow nods and she didn´t ask any detail to Amanda. This is a recurrent event. "How dare you to side with this...inferior person?" Sparrow nor Acqua are impressed by this statement.

 

"Yes, I´ll side with Acqua, your poor attitude is the main problem we´re having lately, I hardly think any team that can handle you..." Sparrow said not having much patience for Amanda.

 

"Well, there´s the last resort, " a new voice pipes in. Is Columbina. Acqua and her team wave happily at her and the woman retributes the favour. " You put me in the group last resort, right, Butterfly can stay there as well"

 

Jubilee almost laughs at Amanda´s face as she´s not getting the last resort group is a joke, but, is a good strategy to deal with Amanda. And from now on, Butterfly is on Last Resort.

 

"Finally, someone understands my value," she said a bit arrogantly to Columbina. "I´m the leader of the team"

 

"Sure, you´re the leader of last resort"

 

"And you´ll report to me and only me"

 

"Joy!"

 

And then Sparrow notices the bag Columbina was carrying and as the woman refuses to return what she stole, Nightcreeper was called and well, no one has any doubt about their relationship.

_______________________

Amanda does not work, well, if you call pleasing Mr Wilson a job that she just got promoted, anyway, the woman has no plans for today, instead, she plans in only watches TV.

 

"And that´s all folks" in a channel surfing moment, she spots the Sketch TV and saw Kitty Pryde doing, in her opinion, a poor imitation of Columbina. And Amanda knew what she had to do.

 

For the next hours, she sends the cruellest tweets her mind can come up to the actress Kitty Pryde. And finally, as the show will air again(the show is never alive, but they make two versions, one for the afternoon and the other for the night)

 

"So, before we start the show...I want to read some of my tweets, my account if full with this person´s reply and all her intelligent mind could come up to insult is ''you´re too ugly to be Columbina'' Can you do a little better?"

 

Amanda is not happy.

 

___________________________________

 

Kurt Ryder likes to go to the clubs and bars, even now that he and Kitty are an item. Some photos are taken from then and Kitty shows rather a way that she may be petite, but, she´s not weak and does not like giving an interview.

 

"You know, is a bit funny how you detest interviews and is dating me?" Kurt can´t help himself by saying that.

 

"Well, not really, I love you, you smug bastard...but I don´t have to be on the receiving end of the cameras and dealing with your questions...you can make everyone confess their dirtiest secret"

 

"Thank you"

 

Amanda is at the same club and saw Kurt Ryder and knows she is off to "work" she´s beautiful and no man can resist her charms. She flicks her hair and shows her bosom...everyone know Ryder likes busty and blonde.

 

"Can I help you?" Kurt asked trying to be peaceful. Amanda mistake politeness for willingness.

 

"No, can I help you?"

 

"Yes, you can. You can go outside and see if polar bears are ready to take over the world, what? this is New Gotham, we have an evil Gorilla. Can you do that for us? Thanks" and Kitty takes Kurt away from Amanda.

 

"Are you jealous?" he asked once they are in the VIP part and Amanda can't enter.

 

"No"

 

"Kitty..."

 

"Maybe? She´s busty and blonde"

 

"That´s not fair, I did date red hairs" Kurt tries to joke. He fails.

 

“I can´t help by feeling a bit insecure, ok? You dated models and…I´m petite, I´m pretty Ryder, I know I´m, but, I´m only human…” Kurt takes her hands and kissed gently.

 

“Wanna know why I´m here? Because I love you. Wanna know why? Because despite what you went through you still have this kindness in you, you still is strong enough to be kind, you´re clever, and you know how to deal with me and Creepy. I can´t speak by all the fashion magazines out there and I know you don´t have the typical body to be a model, but, Katzchen, to me…you´re the most beautiful woman on the world”

 

“Thanks”

 

__________________________________________________-

 

It does not stop Amanda to try to hit on Kurt every time she sees him, but the man knows how to deal with crazy fans. A quick call to the police and Amanda was arrested. Kitty is not happy with this Amanda Szardos at all. Especially as the woman takes her time to tweet how Kitty is too ugly to be Columbina.

 

______________________________________________-

Amanda Szardos is entering in her home with fury in her eyes, finally, she found out the joke thanks to Columbina(“How can you be so cruel to me? I defend you against that fugly Kitty Pryde” “…You are the biggest joke here, no one likes you and the last resort group is a joke”) a heroine she looked up to betrayed her trust.

 

“Fine, if the heroes don´t appreciate me…I´ll show how amazing Butterfly can be.”

 

 

Butterfly is ready to make her debut as a villainess, sadly, her new uniform has a cape and an accident happen to lead her to break her neck. No more butterfly.


	8. Misfit au (visions from the future)

N/A: I like to play here with the idea of Kitty having the ability to see the future. Is it real or just the joke is taken too seriously?

Vera Sweet stop her grimace at whatever Kurt Ryder was saying as the TV is on and people in the studio can take 30 minutes to laugh and forget they work for the most arrogant man in all New Gotham. "Ryder, shut up, your girlfriend´s show is on" and she didn´t forget how Cord´s eyes lit at this mention, albeit, with a certain melancholy.

Kurt promptly ignores this exchange in favour of looking at Kitty´s show. For once, the show won´t make fun of Journalism in New Gotham, which is a damn shame, if you ask Kurt Ryder, because he does like the version of Kurt Ryder Kitty makes.

_______________________________

The scene opens with Kitty Pryde and Chambers speaking political nonsense. After some time, discussing the nothing, a waitress appears to assistant them.

"Would you like "our politicians are corrupt" or "New Gotham is in the epicentre of every wacko"?" the waitress asked with the menu.

Chamber uses a hand signal to communicate and express the desire to eat real food, of course, the concept of real food can be a wild range of meanings.

"I want to eat a chicken" is what he said thanks to his hand sign language, however, chicken has several meanings.

"I´ll want ''our politicians are corrupt'' and a side entrance of ''mayor Green is an alien in disguise'' thanks" Kitty speaks and Chamber only communicates this line. "Eat here was your idea"

And the restaurant shows the punchline. Food for thought.

_______________________________  
Mayor Green is in his office with his entourage as the TV Sketch is finally over. The mayor is letting a groan escape from his thin lips and in a whim, his white skin morphs to blue skin and soon the entourage follows suit.

"This is a problem," Kantique said in a low tone as her face is anything but pleasant.

"Kantique, this is just a human making joke. Nothing more or less. There´s no reason to worry" the minion/henchman or whatever was his rank was shoot dead by Kantique that has little patience today.

The others clearly see this now.

"You think I would care if this was just a dumb comedy show?" Kantique shows her fangs and is clear that the woman is enraged enough to become a beast. "This Kitty Pryde has made those jokes in the past and she is correct in all the assumptions"

And pressing the bottom on her desk. A TV shows up with the compilation of all Kitty´s scenes.

"Maybe mayor Green is resentful he can´t enter the beauty contest" which Kitty did reply "Or he is mad that he is a shapeshifter and shapeshifters aren´t allowed"

and

"Mayor Green is sad, let´s all sing the famous song of his home planet, Gravernox" everyone look at Kantique impressed as she continues to show Kitty´s jokes.

"You think an extraterrestrial life infiltrate the higher position of Earth to control our weapons and make possible assimilation and annihilation on our kind? Well, I would pick New Gotham to start"

"And there´s more" Kantique said bemused. "still think is a mere comedy show?"

"No, of course not, but, what do you want us to do?"

"If she has the vision of the future...we must treat this careful, a direct attack may blow our cover, however, we can be discreet. Mayor Green can play the part of the good sport very well and befriends her...if necessary, I will even bed her"

Someone mentions she has a boyfriend, but, Kantique waves off. "I can be anyone, anywhere. It does not matter"

______________________________________________

Kurt Ryder smiles amused as lately his girlfriend has making many jokes with mayor Green, truth to be told, Kurt Ryder does not like that man. Have meet once in the gala there´s something awful about him.

"Your cute girlfriend gives some crazy jokes, but, hey they entertain us" Vera answers as she goes back to her work pulling Cord along. Kurt thinks for a moment about the jokes.

Why she is always making jokes with Mayor Green?

________________________________________________________

Meanwhile, Kitty receives a note without any signature, and it was posted in her locked room without anyone noticing. The note has this message.

"Stop digging around or you will lose your head"

"What Am I digging around?"

Lorna knocked on her door with a big smile. "dear sister, rejoice, I have great news"

And Kitty notices something is off. "Yeah, what is the big news?"

"Mayor Green loved the jokes and wants to meet you for dinner" Lorna is smiling widely.

"Really? Then he could have the courtesy of showing up himself...also, you should have the courtesy of showing your own face"

Lorna stops smiling and said nothing for a moment. "Just follow me"

_______________________________

A few days later, JLX finds out that mayor Green is Kantique in disguise and who uncover this conspiracy? A comedian named Kitty Pryde.

"Look," Sparrow said to Dark Claw " is the second time one of her predictions come true"

"And she has got things wrong before," Logan said taking off his mask and turns to look at Jubilee with a deadpan expression, "she said I will be a father and grandfather at the same day"

Jubilee watches him go and gets a text of her boyfriend as he wants to ask her out to a romantic getaway. Meanwhile, Logan is receiving a similar call from one of his girlfriends.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. It´s a comedy

N/S: something merciful short. Basically, Kitty is doing a favour from a friend here.

Laura gets sick in the worst way, of course, there´s no way to predict when a person will be too sick to do their job(and of course, health in the first place) but Laura was supposed to do an interview with one of the most elite members of New Gotham, Ra Al-Ghoul. How they get this opportunity? Not even Ryder know.

Ra Al-Ghoul is a mysterious figure. And one that prefers his private life to be a remaining mystery. Ryder thought it was Logan that asked for this interview, but, the grumpy millionaire denies saying that while Ra Al-Ghoul may own him ONE favour he wouldn´t use that to boost Ryder´s ego.

"But with Laura sick, who will do the interview?" Vera asked wanting very much to do it, but, her time is not being opportune now, Cord can share the sentiment and even Ryder too. So, there´s only one option.

"Katzchen!" Kurt Ryder speaks in sweet tones that Kitty can see is hiding favour. "Spit, Ryder!"

"I need a favour, how brave you are to interview Ra Al-Ghoul?" Kurt asked and Kitty´s mouth twitches slightly as she pretends to ponder for a minute. "I´m brave enough, Kurt Ryder" and the tall, well-built man hugs Kitty(in Cord´s mind that hug was a bit too much) and gives the questions to Kitty.

_____________

If anyone was worried Ra Al-Ghoul could intimidate Kitty, well, every other reporter is in shock as the two are talking in front of the cameras as they are the greatest friends.

Kitty is not made to be a reporter as is obvious she is reading the questions that Ryder provide(of course, some question the Reporter notices she is avoiding and she is doing the more innocent ones)and as much she is reading lines, there´s no way to anyone deny, that Kitty is not being charismatic.

"Ok, final question, are you gay?" Kitty asked and everyone in the back is sweating cold as expecting Ra to be furious, instead, he laughs amused and gives his answer.

"No, I´m not gay, but, that does not mean I´m not against homophobia, to object one loves is to deny their own existence" Ra explained and Kurt and the others are jaw drop at this.

If anyone thought he could have been secretly angry and ready to lash out at everyone, Ra surprises everyone, by telling how some of his employees are indeed part of the LGBT community and are treat well (they have a good salary, a good health insurance and no discrimination in the jobs, of course, this is a part that is ambiguous as Ra Al-Ghoul has many jobs that don´t always follow the law, but, he is Ra Al-Ghoul)

And the interview ends with the two shaking hands and Ra asking for a selfie ("my youngest grandson does not believe you are interviewing me, he will be jealousy") and with that pleasant exchange the interview is over and no one is killed or in his black book.

Vera Sweet has questions. Cord has different questions now. While Ryder goes to talk with Kitty wanting to know what just happened.

"You know...Ra Al-Ghoul?"

"Kurt, don´t be silly, I know him today" and Kurt can see she is being literal again, maybe Ra knows Columbina first. Her smile proves her mischievous words true to Ryder.

"You are a real comedian, alright, Kitty...may I take you to launch? Is a tradition here" is not a lie per se, but, Ryder does want to have a nice excuse to be closer of this woman.

She smiles and replies. "Sure, I like to spend time with you" and thankfully she didn´t see his blushing face as her cellphone rings loudly and she answer for one minute.

("You know Creepy, Ryder is an arrogant man most of the times, but, I think he is a good man and I´m impressed by how much he conquer in such short time, he is a man very focused and sometimes I feel inadequate around him...do you know what Am I saying?" "...nope")

 

 

 


End file.
